'Till the past is out of sight

Currently listening: We Don't Have To Look Back Now by Puddle of Mudd

Today is my best friend's birthday. Too bad he is in Peru.

His name: Paul Cabranes.
His birthday: September 06, 1991
His age: 17 today.
His height: 5'9''
His race: Half Ecuadorian, half Argentinian.
Where he was born: Ecuador
How I met him: He moved to my ward when I was 14 and he was 11.
When we became friends: Spring/Summer 2007 when I became his seminary teacher.
Nickname he gave me: Nadiesita
How I call him: Paulito
Song that reminds me of him: Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 because he dedicated it to me.
Top 3 things that I like about him: His maturity, his faith, and he can make me smile when I'm mad.
When I expect to see him again: Never.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULITO! You know you'll always be my best friend. You are like the only person that really cared about me and showed it to me. You could always put a smile on my face. I miss you. And I miss looking up at you whenever I needed to talk to you just because you're so tall. What is it with me and making friends with tall people? I guess I just envy them, in a good way.

On the other hand, ever since I started being a different person, ever since my personal miracle happened, I have been feeling so out of place. I was so happy that the semester started because my friends would be back. But I feel I just don't fit in with them anymore. Some of my friends went partying and dancing last night. I didn't go. I felt the place that they were going to didn't meet my standards. I'd have regretted it. Maybe I am overreacting but my view of things is a little different now, mainly because I am trying so hard to be better. I never really cared much about the Honor Code or stuff like that up until now, and some people think it's too much.

I guess it is true that whenever you want to do the right thing, you get more opposition. But something happened to me. Something that changed my life. And nobody experienced it apart from me. Nobody knows how much it really meant but me. And I will never convince anyone about how much it meant to me. But I don't need to. As long as I know it. As long as I live up to the standards of a child of God, I'll be fine.

Maybe I need to stand back a little. I don't know. All I know is that I will keep making changes to my life until my past is out of sight.