I am pathetic

Currently listening: Crush by David Archuleta

I am retarded. How could I think I was special? I mean what is special about me? Sure, I am interesting when you first meet me because I am brown and short and speak English with an accent. Then, people get to know me and it's like: Yeah, not really what I was expecting. I mean, what the F people? I'm just gonna stop trying.

I decide to give one a chance, I decide to stop focusing on one and the other one totally crashes me, I mean, who the f says "I don't know". I think that's jacked up. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to ask that? I never put myself out there and when I do, I get rejected. I mean, I guess I cannot be more pathetic. Something told me not to say it. Not to mention it. But I thought things were going well for me. I thought wrong.

I have to get over myself. I am not special. If it can't be seen, then it is not there. Whatever. Screw everything! Screw this junk!