Currently listening: Boston by Augustana
I think people are starting to take pity on me, and I don't think I like it. My friend at work said he's gonna come play the Wii with me one of these days. And as much as I try to think it's not because I said I was lonely lately, I think that might have a role to play.
I never really noticed how hard it is to go in life with absolutely no one on your side. I can't wait until I get to move and have roommates again. Also, I have to buy a car this weekend, I can't put it off any longer. Maybe I will have to settle for a Kia again.
I wanted to have the bus run me over yesterday, and my mood was as low as it could be. For some reason, who knows if my mom felt that but she wrote me an email and it helped me. My loan was denied. The only person I have feelings for right now is not giving me any reason to keep trying, to keep fighting. My maternal side is annoying me again. Everything is going so wrong I can't do anything anymore.
I hope things change, or I am probably gonna stop being me. I got to talk to a good friend today, that made me happy. His dad works for the church and he called the Help Desk and it was so random but he got me out of all the spanish speakers. And he was there too, so we got to talk. It is good to know that at least in Peru, I have people that remember me as someone remotely important. Someone who made a difference. And that kept me alive, at least for one more day.
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