No private screening

But I will never get you back, he said. And he was right. I am gone. Forever.
Actions come with consequences.
Once I chose to do something and I have to live with the outcome of my decision.
No regrets.
But I still don't know.

*

It's not a movie, no private screening
This method acting, well, I call that living
It's like a fountain, a door has opened
We have a problem with no solution but to love and to be loved
So, I've made peace with the falling leaves
I see their same fate in my own body
But I won't be frightened when I am awoken from this dream
And returned to that which gave birth to me

- Method Acting by Bright Eyes

*

Carreteras mojadas, nieblas heladas,
otra vez estoy manejando en la madrugada,
con el temor de ser, o lo que pueda ver,
seguire manejando el auto hasta la manana.
El miedo de verte me va rodeando,
te va separando de mi,
te va separando de mi.

- Carreteras Mojadas by Christian Meier

Embracing Riley

I am brokenhearted.

I hate my life.

What the freak is wrong with me?

A love-like feeling

The greatest feeling of all is seeing your program work. I have discovered my passion. I do love programming. I would like to do it forever. I feel I am someone that matters whenever something I program works, and two of the kids in my class think I'm a genius because I can figure stuff out really quick.

It feels as exhilarating as love and it doesn't hurt. So I will go for it. I am tired of hurting. Writing is my passion too. I am working on a fiction piece now. It is kind of dark but I like it.

"The cut was the deepest she had had so far. Her blood kept flowing out of her veins and it would not stop. Her eyes were wide open, fascinated with the idea of the human body. The blood flow was breathtaking. It made her think of a river running downstream. Never stopping. Her blood would not stop. It was time. She hadn’t planned it that way but she was ready to go.

Her drug was always so available. It was the only thing that had never left her, and never would. Nobody suspected anything, she was always wearing sweatshirts and her arms were safely hidden. She had a deep love for her cuts. Running the shiny scissors across her splotchy arms was addicting, it was a routine that had become a part of her.

They are what cannot be put into words.

Salty tears blurred her vision as she watched herself bleed."

Maybe a little creepy. But that's my writing.

Yes, I am Peruvian

I have always thought words hurt much more than actions. There are some things I hate, one of them is feeling inferior because of my race. There is nothing worse than feeling less of a person because of the color of my skin or the language I speak.

Yes, I am Peruvian. I was born and raised in Peru. And yes, I speak Spanish. I am not ashamed of it. My parents are the best people in the world and they have done everything to make me feel loved and to give me all I've ever needed and wanted. That is why I am here.

I am not so easily hurt, but there are a couple things that will always cut deep. Jokes about my skin, my race, my accent, and making me feel stupid. I am not stupid. I am smart enough to come here and try to create a future for myself in a place I had never lived in before, alone.

I have a job and I have school, I have assignments and they are all in English, and I work my way through them. I am not stupid. Don't make me feel stupid. Don't make fun of me to hurt me. People lose so many things for not controlling their own mouths.