My Love-Struck Story: 2009

My White Christmas

So, my Christmas was pretty cool. Probably the best I've had since I moved to Provo.
We had other plans initially but they didn't turn out the way we had planned them so we had to settle for something quick.

Larissa and I bought chicken and I made stuffing - which turned out gross, there goes my attempt at trying to make American food - and rice - which wasn't too great either, I know how could I mess up rice?! - and raspberry trifle - now that was pretty amazing.

We had FHE on Christmas Eve with my family through Skype, something we had never done before, but we should have because that made our night almost perfect.
Then Larissa and I exchanged presents and we gave Christ our presents for him for this year. We ate and simultaneously my parents and little sis in Peru did too. It was really special.

Christmas is about Christ and family. And this year mine really was.
On Christmas morning we made our first gingerbread house ever. Ok, I pretty much did, but Larissa helped a bit too, and I only wanted to have her with me. I don't like being alone.
I love her. She's great.

News - I've changed my blog layout and I think it's pretty cool. With the new year coming up, I was thinking I would just change the way my blog looks to something happier and girlier. Will you listen to me?

O, brother.

Inspiration has a new name

I've been having writer's block for a while now. It's funny how every time I see this particular person suddenly I feel like I could write anything and everything. O how the mind of a writer works. It's biased by feelings. Writers also feel you know. I should know. It's hard to get inspired when you live in a place like Provo, where everything reminds you of tests and papers, but you can find inspiration in the weirdest places.

O and if you haven't noticed , it's Christmas time. And Santa Claus is coming to town.

Finals Week is when I read everything but class material

I just really like this quote

"It was something to hope for.
And something to torture himself over."

Very true. And you'd never guess which book I got it from.

Not trying to be cocky or anything

I got the highest grade on 2 of the 3 midterms we had this semester in my French class. I'm not gonna lie, I planned it, ever since I found out our prof liked to say who got the highest grade in front of the class. I wanted the spotlight and I got it. Twice. Out of 3 times.

In our review on Saturday, my teacher, as always, said who got the highest grade and it was me. Then this girl turned around and said: Can I ask you a question? I nodded. How do you do so well? You never talk in class. You're very quiet. You never ask questions. I always do and I don't do as well as I... think I should be doing.

Well, Robin - that was her name - I don't really do much. If I may say so myself, I think I'm a natural for languages. There's no secret, I just do well... so can't help you there. And fyi you don't need to talk like crazy in class or be a show-off to actually learn stuff. My grades are proof of it.

It made me feel good about myself. And heaven knows I can really use anything that boosts my mood.

Recap of the latest

I spent Thanksgiving in Kent, WA with Danielle's family. Those were some seriously relaxing and awesome 4 days. I gained 2 pounds while I was there, which is less than what I expected so it's not too bad. So my total weight gain since I came to Provo is 5 pounds. Seriously I need to lose those pounds or I'll end up being last year's huge disgusting pig again.

My dating life is confusing. Well, actually I never know when something's a date so let's just say I've had none, though I might be lying.

I've been reading my Scriptures as I was told and that has made a big change in my life and in the way I face daily challenges. Little things do make a difference.

On Monday, we had a ward activity to go see the Temple lights... and the JS Movie. I'm not gonna lie, I did not want to go. I'd seen the JS Movie twice before that Monday, what I never told anyone was that I actually fell asleep both of those times. On Monday tho, after something cool happened before the movie, I actually paid attention to it and I felt the Spirit so strong that I actually felt and knew that JS was a true prophet and I felt grateful for being a member of the Church. It was a great spiritual experience.

On Tuesday, Nate was supposed to come over and watch 21 with me, but unpredictable as he is I ended up going to his apt to watch it there, which was totally cool. 21 is a great movie.

On Wednesday, I was a lazy bum. I also got into this weird mood and ended up telling Kim and Karen that I wanted to watch Pride & Prejudice. Me?! I hate that movie. But for some reason - I'm totally lying, I know why - I really wanted to watch it, and to be honest I enjoyed it... maybe a little too much. But man, that Mr. Darcy sure knows how to play his cards.

BTW

O, I love Rob Smith.

The end.

---- edit ----

Some people come into your life for
a reason, to change it and leave it.
You might be still around them but it is
not how it used to be, it's not the same. Never.
The worst is when you cannot let go and you know
you will never let go. You want their influence, or
maybe just having them was enough, but the truth
is that some people only come to be gone.
Some people have a purpose, only one.
Some people only come so you let go.
One of them I knew. He appeared
and left as silently as he came.
I will never know why or how
but one day it will all make sense.

Maid Service

"Bring me pie," he gestured and because she was so eager for him to talk to her, she hurried up to bring it and finally be close to him.

"What are you doing?" her friend said, trying to figure out why she was desperately looking for whipped cream.

She stood in the middle of the room and thought of what she was doing.

"My boyfriend just asked me to bring him pie," she finally concluded.

"boyfriend? What is he doing?" her friend asked looking at her with the plate of pumpkin pie in her hands and ready to deliver it.

"Playing cards with his friends," she said, lovestruck look on her face. "See?" She pointed at him. He was having the time of his life, he just needed one thing and it was up to her to make him completely happy. "But he wants pie."

And she marched away from her friend, missing only her french maid uniform. The attitude was already there.

Move On

I love my bishop. I had never liked talking to the bishop before but it's different with Bishop Hart. I feel so good whenever I talk to him. I have decided to finally do what he's invited me to do.

Read a chapter a day of the Book of Mormon or read a talk in the November 2009 Ensign.
Pray at least twice a day, in the morning and at night.
Buy "Believing Christ" by Stephen E. Robinson and read it. (edit: ---- Bought!)
Go to the temple weekly.

Bishop told me I'm a good person and God only knows how much I've needed to hear that. I also got my Temple Recommend and when he was asking me those questions, I felt the Spirit so strong as I answered positively to each of them. He finally got rid of a doubt I had in my mind ever since I got my Patriarchal Blessing back in 2005. A doubt that killed me a little every day, but now it's gone. The essence of the interview was to move on, the Bishop told me so so many times, God wants me to move on and keep progressing.

I love my Bishop.

Escaping The World part I

This is a free form essay I have decided to write. It's mainly for me. It helps me in the long run to read what I write.

Through the years I have noticed there are two things I love and always will. Books and TV. Why do I love them so much? Because they are my way of escaping. Escaping the world that I don't really love. My life is not perfect, it's pretty good and I'm usually happy but sometimes I just feel bad about it.

All I wanna do today is watch TV. This time I have chosen Gossip Girl. I like escaping, because when I don't like the world I live in, there's always a book or a TV show I can enter and be part of. A world that no matter how messed up it may be, I enjoy being a part of... because in the end, there's always a happy ending in store and I know it'll come.

To be continued...

"I've dreamt alone, now the dreams won't do"

I'm supposed to be studying but I just listened to this song and I'm such a mess right now that I needed to post it. Seriously, it describes a part of my life - which I consider to be the best and the worst - with such exactitude... Enjoy.

Listen!

It's "I see you" by Mika, btw.

Pictures

So we have Halloween and FHE. I can't tell you how much I love the FHE pics! They're just great! I think I look good. Cocky much?

*Here* *Here* You wanna look *here*

Si je te disais...

There's one thing I want right now... and I don't know how to get it. It's frustrating.

Mikey's back! I've been so very sad without my baby - my black Mac that is - I'm so excited we're reunited again and I'm never ever ever ever letting it be away from me for so long ever ever ever again.

I'm bored at work right now. I'll post some pictures when I get home.

FYI

If you want to be friends with someone, you should be able to accept them for who they are. I'm not an expressive kind of person at all, so I'm sorry if I hurt anyone along the way just because they're used to a different kind of friend.

If you want me to hug you every day, I probably won't do it unless you ask me to. If you want to come somewhere with me, tell me. I'm not the kind of person that asks everybody to go with them everywhere. I can't read minds, if someone wants something from me they have to tell me, I will not come up with it any other way.

What can I say? I'm dense, like a guy... even if I dress like a girl now.

There. Explained.

There

My roommate got her wedding dress yesterday. The apt was full of aww's and ahh's. Crazy. Good crazy. Britt looks so excited, it just makes us all feel happy for her. Besides, she and Kyle look adorable together.

As for my boy problems, they're done with. I haven't really felt anything for anyone since last year. I've tried to but it just doesn't feel right. Not like it did last year.

As for school, I'm doing well. Finally feel that my life is going the right way.

As for church, I have an interview with the bishop tonight so everything that's making me feel like such a failure inside I will finally be able to get it off of my chest. Bishop's in for a looooong conversation.

He's not you

I heard Karma say one day that she had gotten to the point that when she walked on campus and saw a cute guy, she didn't think "O, he's hot" anymore but she only thought "He's not (insert name of current huge crush here)". I'm not sure if I'm glad to say this but I'm in that same situation right now and I'm in shock...

Frustration

So there's this guy. Yes, there's always a guy. I don't know why I even befriend them. I know I don't really want to because getting in trouble is not something I enjoy.

My friends say he likes me, I don't think so. But if he did, I guess I could like him too. But he will never know because he'll never try a thing. Believe me.

According to me, if a guy likes you, he'll try to pursue you, not by being mysterious and confusing. Honestly, I've gone through that already and I don't recommend it. Guys, if you like a girl, just go for it! Mystery was never fun.

That's my advice.