What about today

Currently listening: What About Now by Daughtry

The longest two weeks of my life have officially started. Everybody is gone by now. It's just me in the apartment. It has never felt so quiet. It is kind of depressing. My friend Stefani left today, I went to the airport to say goodbye to her at 3 in the morning. I hate saying goodbye, but it is better than not saying anything at all. She will be back three weeks from now. Danielle left today too. And it is just me here. My sister is hanging out with a friend and I am here, all alone. If there is a time in which I feel loneliness more than any other time, then it is now.

I don't know what to do. I am bored and time goes by very slowly for me. My mind is not even here, I tried to write but as soon as I started, my mind drifted away and got lost. And I know where it goes. And I just can't get myself to bring it back from there, because that's where it is happy. That's where it doesn't feel so alone. And then it goes back to all of them, it pictures them, it wants them, it needs them, but they are just past memories, which will keep me from insanity the next two weeks.

Sometimes I just want to leave. Go somewhere and never come back. Leave everything behind. And I don't know why, but I know there is somewhere I need to go, something I need to do, I just don't know what it is yet.

I don't hate Christmas. I don't think I ever will. But I am not too festive. When I left my family in Peru, that's when I stopped celebrating everything and anything that involves families. It brings back too many memories. Too many feelings that I have shunned. I can't afford thinking about them. It would hurt. Too much.

I keep listening to the same song over and over again and it just makes me think of you. I am ridiculous. It has not even been that long, but I miss you.

I think I will go for a walk.